Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
