She's the barista slut.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
