i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize