We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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