I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
