SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
