Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
