HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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