fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
