I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
