Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
