this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
