I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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