you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
