words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
