Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
