2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
