Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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