I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
