I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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