I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
