A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
