i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
