Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
