Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
