he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
