Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
