They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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