shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
