I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize