For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
