another moral hangover. fuck.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i dont even know how to be here
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
