Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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