one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
