i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
