It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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