i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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