Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
