So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
