Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
