I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
