Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
