dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't deserve a penis
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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