why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
