Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
