We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
