I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
