That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
