She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
