It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize