His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
As shirtless as possible
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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