We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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