I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
