It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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