i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
