The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
