yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
