member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
