I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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