$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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