So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
