When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
