id be glad to
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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