It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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