you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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