why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
