Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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