no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
