I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
True strength comes from lack of pants
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
