shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm too high and old for this...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
