Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize